He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
