You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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