One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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