So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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