I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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