Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
