Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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