You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
