I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
