idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
