ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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