Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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