Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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