too bad you live with your parents still
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize