And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
