I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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