What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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