Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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