I think i peed on brittanys purse
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
