return my video game
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
