guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
