Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
