I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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