dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
