K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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