dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
