She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I didn't notice because vodka
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
