the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
