I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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