windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize