She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
