Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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