his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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