considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
