Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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