bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
