I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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