Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
no, he came in my armpit
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
