mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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