This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
