First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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