Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
