My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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