can we get nightvision for the apartment?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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