Fuck appropriateness.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
