every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
