the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
