This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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