this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize