If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
