I'm so fucking centered right now
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
