Your mouth is God's brothel.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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