Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
