reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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