Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
