God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
