My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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