What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
