slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
