Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
