She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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