You smell like stripper and shame
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
