well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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