I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
