omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And then my night got REAL pukey
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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