So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize