butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
