he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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