What a fucking waste of an outfit
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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